Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:57 pm by Zashyn Loross
*Zashyn's helm moved left to right.*
"No, red stripes are not for me. I could not endure what you must on each mission."
*Zashyn knew she would balk to order men to their deaths, to send them to the line with the very real expectation of only some of them returning while lacking the capability of being there on the line with every single one of them where she might control the outcome. She much preferred being the one taking orders, leading her handful of troopers and doing everything in her power to keep the ones in her immediate chain of command alive.
What ambitions she did have, though, she did not elaborate on. Instead, she silently watched the commander through her visor, her posture military-straight despite the weight of the heat and the casualness of their environment. It was tension, not discipline, that kept her body stiff. The light of the fire reflected off his sweat-slick skin. Every time his eyes lifted to look at her, she shivered.
It was different than how he used to look at her, how he saw her before this exercise. Of course, she had never seen his eyes behind the helm before, but his body language had conveyed his feelings near enough. He'd accepted her as one of his own, one of his boys. They depended on one another, grew to be friends, grew to be brothers in arms. They shared blood, victory, and loss. But now, he didn't look at her as one of his own, but as if he needed to own her. There was a hunger there, a need to look and make sure she was still there. She recognized it, because it was how she had always looked at him. Only with her, the looks had been layered with guilt and conflict.
She had been shaming herself with her own feelings for so long, was she now only denying herself out of habit? If she pursued this longing desire, there would be problems for both of them, but it's not the biggest secret she has ever kept from the Republic. It was easy to fantasize, easy to think of those problems as remote and far in the future, considering their current dilemma.
Zashyn stood slowly, then crossed around the fire to sit next to Quinn, close enough to touch.*
"I need your hands."
*She leaned forward and pulled off her helmet, then piece by piece, removed her upper body armor. Leaning her weight on her uninjured side, she peeled away the dressing from the blaster wound where her bodyglove had been torn. Her body flinched.*
"Looks bad?"