Open Orbit

/~ Cipher Seven could not believe that he was tasked to raid an Ice cream factory for his leading lady. How dare she get craving for Ice Cream when he had the need to slap a sandwich upon his plate and devour it! The poor sandwich was sitting upon his table. Delicious, and ever so lonely. Why had he answered his communicator? He had a lip smacking sandwich! To hell with his career choice as a super sexy blue guy in tights! He. Had. A. Sandwich. Seven could just imagine it sitting upon his table, wilting without the love of his lips tearing into it's crusty exterior. He wasn't happy. Lord Sinistra can get her own black cheery ice cream, she was a Sith after all, but it seemed at that time of the month her super powers had finally met their kryptonite.

Snickering to himself as he sat silently, wait he just snickered! No longer sitting silently, the Super sexy blue guy spy was tapping his fingers against the bench. Thinking of his poor sandwich, and what state it would be in once he got home.He hated leaving it alone like this. Damn her and her cravings!

"Hooks, turn that crap down. You're the only person I know who works for a Sith and listens to the Carpenters."

*Vell shook his head at her, continuing on down the hall. He came across Cipher 7, moping over something in a corner. He had been a barrel of laughs ever since they took off from Kuat, pouting with a lip sticking out so far that a mynock could land on it.*

"What the matter, 7? Hooks turn you down for a date again?"

"Nah, Hook's got her head in the clouds again." He said as she sung the carpenters. Pitiful for someone working for the Sith. The stereotype was death metal and hard rock. Sith were super serious yo! So they had to listen to serious music. Not like the Jedi and their county dupstep music. Sounds like a sheep stuck in a washing machine, no wonder they viewed themselves as such high and mighty paragons of justice. "This bogus detail's got me separated from my Sandwich." Seven's tone had dropped, malice oozed from lips as he continued on with his next statement. "No one stands between me and my Sandwich..." With the magic lights suddenly dimming about his face, revealing to the camera nothing but his glowing red eyes. He speaks one last time. "No one."

"Oh for kriff's sake. Hooks, come 'er and make the boy a sammich."

*Vell peeked around down the hall, his face puzzled. As he waited for Hooks to get her choobies into the kitchen so Seven would get the sand of out his vagina, he tried to listen for Special Agent Skippy and the illusive final member of their team.

He snaps around to Seven, elbowing him to get his attention.*

"You seen Agent Skippy?"

"You check the Sithspit?" Mockingly pointing to the rear of the craft, Seven knew that Skippy might've been skipping the "How to hold your lunch 101" classes at the Sith Academy. Who knows where Skippy was, hell the agent's very name suggested that skippy skips out on everything. How the hell would he know? Did he look like he paid attention to his teammates? His sad sandwich was lonely...

Hooks head snapped around and she glared at the men. Her soft demeanor was replaced by a fire in her eyes. The dulcet tones of her singing was replaced by the roar of a pissed off woman.

Make you a sandwich? You can make your own damn sammich.... You're arms ain't broke. Whaddo I look like, your maid?

Hooks pulled out her earbuds and plugged them into her iPod. She turned up the Carpenters and wandered off, muttering the whole time about useless men thinkin they can order her choobies around just because she was a woman.. well they could kiss her rosy red choobies and make their own damn sammich, because she only took orders from one person and it sure as hell wasn't them....

*Vell smiled cheekily at Hooks as she walked away humming, catching up to her. . He paused by her side, raising his brows suggestively at her as he spoke.*

"You're obviously confused and aroused. I like your style. I find it very...erotic."

*Vell growled at her playfully as he blocked her way in the hall.*

-Mechanical, slightly metrosexual voice-
"But little Master, The lady didnt specify the specifics of the..."

*As the door opens, the shiny golden protocol droid is trying to hide from something in the dark of the ships hallway, that is throwing bolts and other smaller appliances at him. With his rather slow and unbalanced walking, he was getting to the cargo hold where he was sure he heard the Captain Vell-s voice and some really lovely and masculine music. As he was fleeing the artillery barrage of the frame of an exhaust port, just a couple feet wide, scavanged from space around the gas giant of Yavin, he closed in on Captain Vell in an attempt to gain protection, trying to hug him.*

-C3-BJ-
"Oh please, Master! You have to speak to Little Master! He has gone mad! He claims the ship is not equipped enough to be salvaged and ripped appart for an important mission like this! He claims Mistress Sinistra is Cheating his Little Majesty!"

*A reversed Ion coil just hit the poor droid.*

-C3-BJ-
"Ooooh! Maaker!"

*And in front of both Hooker and Capt. Vell, the animosity that was "little Master" apeared. Fully grown 2 feet tall, in a blood drenched robe of the enemies he killed, the jawa master of assasinations, killer of jedi as sith, destroyer of dreams and second runner in Tatooines Idol, Lord Utinni was there, in person. From the darkness under his robe, only the glaring orange eyes were seen, seemingly steaming orange steam as he walked forward, aiming one more bolt at the droids head. he screamed with furiosity.*

"UUUTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"

-C3-BJ-
"He seems rather upset about it, Sir, if I would have to translate."

[quote="Sinistra":3khdfapp][narration:3khdfapp]Vell smiled cheekily at Hooks as she walked away humming, catching up to her. [url=http://pool.theinfosphere.org/images/thumb/d/d8/Zapp_promo.png/180px-Zapp_promo.png:3khdfapp]His jacket was red velour and nearly covered all of his very short shorts with white boots[/url:3khdfapp]. He paused by her side, raising his brows suggestively at her as he spoke.[/narration:3khdfapp]

[color=#00BFFF:3khdfapp]"You're obviously confused and aroused. I like your style. I find it very...erotic."[/color:3khdfapp]

[narration:3khdfapp]Vell growled at her playfully as he blocked her way in the hall.[/narration:3khdfapp][/quote:3khdfapp]

[color=#FF0080:3khdfapp]Hooks ripped her earbuds out of her ears. [/color:3khdfapp]

Have you done lost your mind?? First of all, you are interrupting my Carpenters, second of all, I tol' you the last time you hit on me you had no chance. I am not interested.

[color=#FF0080:3khdfapp]Hooks waved her hand to dismiss him.[/color:3khdfapp]

Now you better get out my way or I will drop you to your knees like a freshman girl at a fraternity party.

*Nemo was jerked awake by the sudden drop from hyperspace, he must have fallen asleep on the sofa again watching "Murder she typed on her datapad". He rubbed his eyes for a few moments before standing up, pausing as the blood rushed to his head. the Jedi Master shook his head slightly and slowly walked down the corridor towards the cockpit, hoping that BA had calmed down during the trip.*

*From his command console he could see that they had exited hyperspace a fair distance from the planet, better safe than sorry with the 'Lass. They seemed to be heading to the planet's northern hemisphere, where Nemo know the capital city was.* *He kicked back and rested his feet on his console as he watched the globe grow in size in the view screen.* *Once they were on the surface he could talk to the authorities and start the investigation.*

==== Agent Skippy, NPC Extraordinaire =====


Agent Skippy in question, the young reckless commando that multiple people were looking for, came out from the direction of the back cargo bay, looking down at her Nintendo 3DS. Somehow she managed to walk through the hallways without running into anything, despite the fact she was furiously mashing the buttons on the small device and swearing under her breath.

"By the Emperor's Shriveled, Hairy Balls, just Fracking DIE, Ganondorf!" she swore, glaring at the small video game device as she watched her last heard vanish and the 'Game Over' message appear on the screen.

Swearing, she looked up, and noticed everyone else in the team had seemed to gather around. Confused for a moment, she noticed that some of the members of the team had started to get their gear together.

"Uh... did I miss a briefing again?" she asked sheepishly. "I swear, I didn't mean to. I mean I finally found Zelda, and then Ganondorf showed up and..." she trailed off looking around. "You guys probably don't care, do you?"

*Between the terrified droid, the angry Jawa and the absent-minded gamer, Vell lost his train of thought, yelling out for his trust assistant.*

"Kiiiiif! Come tell these men that it's time for the mission. Land us at the ice cream factory at once. I have some time blocked out in the Lovenasium to work Hooks' interpersonal skills."

*The green skinned pilot grumbled to himself as he pointed them all into the cargo bay, rolling his eyes at the Capt's mention of his personal quarters.*

"Ugh. Right this way, your gear is through here."

*Capt. Vell had personally chosen the outfits for Agent Skippy and Hooks, his leering smile stretched wide across his face. They were flexible and skimpy, the way a woman should be dressed for duty with Capt. Mah Vell.

Kif returned to the cockpit, shuddering at the captain again, and flew the ship down to the surface.*

Hooks plugged her earbuds back in her ears and shook her iPod to change up the song.

If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain....

Her voice lilted from her lips and her face settled into the serene, happy, Hooks that everyone knew and loved. She bopped her head back and forth to Rupert Holmes and settled into her chair for the landing.

[quote="Nemo":34hg6goa][action:34hg6goa]Nemo was jerked awake by the sudden drop from hyperspace, he must have fallen asleep on the sofa again watching "Murder she typed on her datapad". He rubbed his eyes for a few moments before standing up, pausing as the blood rushed to his head. the Jedi Master shook his head slightly and slowly walked down the corridor towards the cockpit, hoping that BA had calmed down during the trip.[/action:34hg6goa]

[narration:34hg6goa]From his command console he could see that they had exited hyperspace a fair distance from the planet, better safe than sorry with the 'Lass. They seemed to be heading to the planet's northern hemisphere, where Nemo know the capital city was.[/narration:34hg6goa] [action:34hg6goa]He kicked back and rested his feet on his console as he watched the globe grow in size in the view screen.[/action:34hg6goa] [narration:34hg6goa]Once they were on the surface he could talk to the authorities and start the investigation.[/narration:34hg6goa][/quote:34hg6goa]

[action:34hg6goa]The notification had beeped to both Jay and Bob, informing them of the ship's impending reversion from hyperspace, meaning only one thing; they were here, and Sithspit could start! At last! The troublesome duo had spent the entire trip, not resting as they perhaps should have done, like their comrades were, but indulging in a little herbal remedy. Sithspit had gotten real when Jay pulled out his lightsaber and waved it at Bob, who had merely grinned and nodded in affirmation.

Thumbing the activation switch, the "weapon" had not ignited as one may have expected.... instead of the snap-hiss of an extending glowing blade, there was a click, and a small flame appeared within the base, lighting the socket and the herb within. Laughing, the pair had taken turns wrapping lips around what would usually be considered the emitter-end, or business-end per say, of the saber, and inhaling deeply.

It hadn't taken long before pink eyes, inane chuckling, and incessant rambling had taken over their room.

Now, aware their fun was now set to cease, in one sense, and begin in another, they scrambled to unsteady feet and plodded down the corridor, bouncing off the walls as they did so. Turning to Bob, Jay raised an eyebrow and smirked for no reason.[/action:34hg6goa]

[color=grey:34hg6goa]"Hey! HEY! We should.... we should totally like get Calvin into this, yo! That Sithspit crazy kriff would be balls-crazy!!! Let's.... let's go wake him up!!"[/color:34hg6goa]

[action:34hg6goa]Without waiting for confirmation, he staggered towards "Crazy" Calvin's door and opened it without so much as a knock to signify their impending interference. The sight that greeted them, did nothing short of confuse. Calvin was in his room, hanging upside down by his feet, seemingly unaffected. As though it was totally normal. Jay blinked and gawped, unsure as to whether he was seeing things through his drug-addled eyes, or if this was really going-on. He turned and looked at Bob, lost for words, pointing at Calvin and stammering, shaking his head.[/action:34hg6goa]

[color=grey:34hg6goa]"Dude.... what..... what the kriff?!"[/color:34hg6goa]

*Bob peered at Calvin, hanging bat-like in blissful ignoarance of the fact it seemed, and adopted a perplexed expression, signifying his confusion with a single raise of the shoulders. Hell, even the shrug looked confused. Cap hanging at a jaunty angle and coat as ruffled as ever he entered Calvins room, peering around warily for hidden pitfalls. He had once entered Calvins room and found himself immersed in some sort of sticky substance that the eccentric Jedi Padawan had decided was needed to ward off bad dreams, or some Sithspit like that. Bob had stopped listening to the rambling explaination after the first mention of "The Voice."

Making it to Calvins side, unmolested and unsullied, he looked up at the upside down Jedi as he pulled a long, cone-shaped, "cigarette" from the breast pocket of his coat and stuck it in his mouth as he continued to study the still form hanging from the bulkhead.

Lighter in one hand but left unlit for now he tentativley reached ou a finger, as Jay watched with wide eyed anticipation, and prodded the Padawan making him rock back and forth gently, like a pedulum, or Conker. Yeah. LOL. A Conker! A Jedi Conker!

Seeing now immediate reaction to his prodding Bob blazed that Sithspit up and exhaled a huge cloud of smoke towards the recumbent Jedi's face before stepping back a pace to gauge the reaction.*

*He hung, perfectly still, feeling a peace that could only be achieved in silence and total focus on the Force. This didn't need to be done upside down, but Calvin had his reasons. He heard the pair entering, his eyes remaining closed as Master Jay and his very quiet companion examined him. He guessed that since they had left hyperspace with no major alarms ringing that BA had managed to fly the craft successfully. Wonders would never cease. As Bob poked him, he swung a little backwards, but as his momentum changed his eyes flashed open and a wide grin covered his face.*

"Do you have to? My body is a temple, but do you like the pants?"

*He gestured at the way his robe opened in his current state and revealed a delightful pair of boxers decorated with little pink hearts. They weren't his favourite, but at least they were clean. Laughing he pulled himself up to the bar his feet were hooked on and taking his weight in his hands he flipped the right way up, landing nimbly and then suddenly falling sideways into the bed.*

"Hehehehehehehehehehe" *Calvin laughed hysterically, clutching his stomach and rolling on the bed.* "Headrush! Wooooo! You should try that sometime, Master, its awesome fun! Makes meditating worth it!" *Proping himself up a bit, a gently tugging his robe to cover his hairy knees he put on a very serious face with a quickness that was unnatural.* "So what we up to? Damsel in distress? Corruption? BA threatening to eject you from the airlock?"

*Standing, watching, eyes wide (or as wide as they could be in his state), and mouth agape, Jay silently observed the chaos that ensued as Calvin acrobatically returned to his feet the right way up. How he found the energy to do such things was beyond the stoner, who had to fight every screaming muscle in his body simply to stand up some days, but still, each to their own.

Shaking his head as he watched the clearly maniacal Jedi.... pilot.... mechanic.... what the kriff even was he meant to be? In another reality Jay was sure he should have been a pilot, probably a kriff awesome one, but for some reason, here and now, Calvin was a... somebody to yet be determined. Other than clinically insane of course. BA was the pilot, which was odd, because she seemed like she was a far better mechanic. And besides, having a woman flying a ship was just so risky. Spacial awareness was not their fort├â┬® after all, and Force-knows how many prangs there were on the hull of their ship to prove it. But no, BA was the pilot. Nemo was a dumbass at times.

Turning attentions back to Calvin, and then to Bob, he remembered the mission they were here to perform, and smiled with a lazy, bleary-eyed grin. Man his mouth was dry. It was time to get a drink for reals. Oh and he had a hunger something rotten for Uj cake or something equally sweet. And.....wait, what? Wasn't he in the middle of something? Oh.... that's right! The mission!*

"Dude we are here to kick the SHIZZ-IT outta some kriff' pirates or somethin', yo! We are gonna kick choobies, take kriff' names, and score us some sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet piece of slave-ass! BONG!!! Aint that right nemoidian?!"

*Looking at Bob, and nodding knowingly, he blinked lazily and chuckled absent-mindedly.*

*The reaction was, as always with Calvin, a tripped out, acid-house, kriff up parody of reality. From the boxer short, thank got a bollock hadn't been peeking out, to the maniacal laugh it was all a kriff trip. Bob puffed on the reefer, letting the smoke escape his mouth only to be ruthlessly swept up by a well timed inhale through his nostrils, and stepped over to Jay in the doorway.

He nodded enthusiastically and pantomimed everything that Jay said into a weird set of hand signals and gestures describing what they were gonna do. It was like that time in Hollywood when Jay had sent thoe whores running for cover. Kinda like *

*He held the smoking prize out to Jay as he gestured for Calvin to get his Sithspit together. kriff, knowing Cal the dude would go into battle with just his boxers and tunic on screaming at his enemies to acknowledge how awesome his underwear was. True Sithspit, readers. Its happened before!

Now all they needed to do was wait for Nemo and BA to get them to where they were meant to be. Which was...

He looked at Jay with a frown marring his rather simple-looking features. "Where are we again?", he gestured.*