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HE'S NOT PARANOID! IT'S THE TRUTH
The government wants us to just die quietly and blame it on global warming, well I can tell you for one having flown north and south that they are liars and trying to kill off all of us just to keep it quiet. This duck isn't going to be quiet any longer, the government wants all avian life dead, we pose too much of a threat to them because our voice is so loud.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/parano ... -po,18953/