Obi-Wan Kenobi's beard

Okay, who in the blue hell removed this awesome topic? I mean, we've all established that Obi-Wan Kenobi's beard is the source of everything Star Wars.

In light of the fact that it was insanely funny (for me at least), I'm going to restart this thread anew. Please, people, help me with rebuilding the awesomeness of Obi-Wan Kenobi's beard!

I shall start with:

Obi-Wan doesn't tie his shoelaces, they just hang on for dear life!

Obi-Wan Kenobi turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's not because he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared of him.

There is no chin behind Obi-Wan Kenobi's beard. There is only another lightsaber.

Obi-Wan Kenobi's beard is barbed wire soaked in rancor blood and held together by the souls of Sith.

When Yoda once said to his fellow Jedi in the temple, "When you look at the dark side, careful you must be...for the dark side looks back," Obi-wan then looked at the Dark side, just once, and it got beat up by his beard and shavited it's pants. Afterwords, he then went to the Jedi ladies quarters in the temple and proceeded to bang Aayla Secura and other hot Jedi women.

Obi Wan created every color of the rainbow except pink. That was Anikan.

I will now say 'Kenobi's Beard!' instead of Sithspit. Why? Because Obi-Wan Kenobi's beard beat the spit out of the sith.

Obi-Wan Kenobi brought a nexu cub back to life by giving it an extended beard rub.

[quote="Terra Kiros":2t47i7r1]Obi-Wan Kenobi brought a nexu cub back to life by giving it an extended beard rub.[/quote:2t47i7r1]


Then he used his lightsaber to kill it. Just to prove that the Good Kenobi giveth, and the Good Kenobi taketh away.

Obi-Wan Kenobi does not 'duel' because 'dueling' implies a chance of losing. Obi-Wan Kenobi goes killing.

Christmas themed one!

There were actually 4 wise-men that visited Jesus, the forth being Obi-Wan Kenobi. He gave Jesus the gift of the beard. The other 3 wise-men were so jealous they used their combined influence to have him omitted from the Bible. Coincidentally all 3 died a month latter from Lightsaber related deaths.

Obi Wans beard. What can you really say about it? If Obi Wans beard and Chuck norris's beard got in a fight the result would be a cataclysmic event that would destroy the very fabric of time! And the only fabric that would exist is none other then Obi Wans beard! Then the universe would recreate itself, yah know, string theory is based on obi wans beard hairs after all. Lets just say its epic but the real question is. WHO WOULD WIN?

Obi wan vs His Beard?

Can the beard really exist without the man himself? Now that's one mind kriff. We need some Obiwansbeardologists hired.

As the current Beard expert on the site, I do believe I have the answer to your conundrum.

[quote="The Holy Man":2j4t0oz0]Mace Windu is bald because Obi Wan Kenobi's beard scared his hair away.[/quote:2j4t0oz0]

As the creator of the original Obi Wan Kenobi thread before all of the OOC topics were destroyed...


I approve of this thread.

Once, a man said "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" to Chuck Norris. He then beat the man with the words he said.

There is only one beard to rival Obi-wan's, and that is the Beard of Qui-gon.

However, rather than force a Clash of the Beards with his apprentice, Qui-gon chose to die valiantly in combat against a far weaker opponent. His sacrifice will be remembered in the Special Special Olympic Edition, where he will be replaced by a blinking CGI Ewok.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Force Pushed a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.

Obi-Wan Kenobi. You have to have balls just to read this.

Emperor Palpatine was sent into a coma for weeks after getting HoloBook (Star Wars equavalent of Facebook) Poked by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"With great beard comes great responsibility" Kenobi said this to Anikan, he was never able to got facial hair again.

Obi-Wan Kenobi flashed before life's eyes.

When Obi-Wan Kenobi got arrested, He read the police men THEIR rights.

Some people kill two birds with one stone, Obi-Wan Kenobi kills two boulders with one bird.

Obi-Wan Kenobi wears contacts. Not to see better mind you, but so he won't burn a hole through whatever it is he is looking at.

Obi-Wan Kenobi played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Death once had a near-Obi-Wan Kenobi experience.

Ghosts sit around campfires telling each other Obi-Wan Kenobi stories.

If Obi-Wan Kenobi ever slept with a man it's not cause he went gay. It is because he ran out of women.