Tue Jun 12, 2012 10:26 pm by Seros Darklighter
*Murmuring voices..
Thoughts and images of horrific abominations making relentless attempts on his person. The resonating noises of snarling gnashing of teeth, shrieks and shrills, yet unheard. Peaceful rest not peaceful. Quietness not silent. A paradoxical state of being, thanks to scarred memories and traumatic encounters with hell on earth.
Physical pain faded in and out of mind, but as moments passed (if they were even moments at all at this point), the spurts of pain seemed to be kept at bay longer..and longer.....and longer. Seros' mind was being taken deeper, under the canopy of reality into the ephemeral. Into the essence and foundation of where all things are taken root. Falling as if subtly cradled. The slightly slowed beat of his heart became the only thing audible.
That familiar, inaudible voice.
"Deeper. Lower. Sink lower, to rest. I'm waiting.."
Waiting? Why wait? Where to? What's the purpose of waiting? The questions drove him deeper, although his 'body', still limply aloft in an invisible current among the darkness, eyes closed and face expressionless. Descending into a farther place of peace. The murmuring voices had all but ceased. Nothing.*
"Finally..some sleep."
His mind came once again into agreement with his body's disheveled state. This happened too many times. It wasn't that Seros was weak. On the contrary. Given certain circumstances, his mind refuses to acknowledge the body's need for reprieve and restoration, pushing himself rather 'beyond' his own limits.
*"..Don't wake up, silly."*
Wake up? All he thought about was sleep. How was sleep being considered awa--
*The voice interrupted again, still remaining unheard, yet perceived. "Quell your spirit. Come to me.. Let's talk."*
...??
*"...Just...let..go.. Stop struggling."*
"Struggling? I'm not even resisti--"
*"..Sssshhhh...."*
...........
*"Deeper. Lower. To rest.."*
*Hearing those familiar words again, his mind now returned to that point of no thought, no recollection, no question...he found himself beginning to sink again, as if he had stopped. The feeling of cradling peace and aloofness adopted his being again..and unbeknownst even to himself, he opened further unseen levels for deeper access. His head leaning back in his loft, eyes still closed as his descent increased. This 'nothing' was certainly better than what was going on miles and miles above him, but that was the thing. It wasn't 'nothing.' There was an obvious conscious sentience to whatever this was.
Seros' descent deepend, and hastened as he now knew how to control his descent. Letting go of inhibitions, doubts, fears, even hopes and aspirations, wishes and accomplishments, he plummeted 'head first' toward the voice, its strength in essence increasing greatly. His robes tattered and tarried in a non-existent wind as he shot down at what would seem supersonic speed..*
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*...and there he stood.
The first thing he heard was waves. Ocean waves. Felt an almost chilly breeze press at his bald temples and invade his nostrils. His eyes .
A beach? ... Abnormal ice formations protruding from the sea, not thought humanly possible. Odd.. But the next thing to catch his eyes was the ridiculously radiant, pulsing...moon? No, moons, so it would seem. Tendrilous forms of light and energy coalescing around their central apex. It illuminated everything around Seros on the beachhead. The ice itself glowed brightly because of the energy's prominent proximity. The waves themselves had no choice but to submit into a pure translucence as they rose over the white sands, easily mistaken for snow had it not been for the malleable consistency beneath his scuffed boots. Still..that orb of--or rather 'orbs'--of light, seemed familiar to him somehow.*
"The whole place does. ..Why--?"
*** "..Hello."
<< Seros spun his head back in a bit of quizzical shock as he heard the quaint voice of what seemed to be a small girl..and there she was. Small, adolescent, not looking a day older than twelve. Dressed in a simple white gown shirt and silky slacks. Her pale skin tone glowed like the ice and sands, and her blue-hued hair shimmered like an aquamarine gemstone. And the silvery, platinum eyes gave it away. Echani.
Still quizzical, he looked around again for anyone else. There was no one across the snowy..lifeless landscape? No..it wasn't lifeless. There was much life here, contrary to common perception. He felt it pulsing out everywhere, despite the dead and depraved look to it. ..His fingers brushed over his brows as he tried to process what was going on..but even the girl caught on to that.. >>
***"..Don't try to figure it out." *she smiled.*
<< Seros glanced back at her, speechless. He wanted to ask who she was, but she seemed to remain one step ahead. >>
***"..Let me explain it to you." *she adopted a matter-of-fact demeanor.*
***"This.." *she gestured a hand and a quick glance to their surroundings.* "..is your home, or 'room' in the Force. It's how you perceive your relationship with the Force, with yourself, and even those around you."
<< Seros looked around once more, taking in the sight as she continued, albeit giving him time to reflect on each statement, knowing exactly when to proceed or halt her speech. >>
***"..And I...heh, well. You're hardly going to believe me....but I'm the Force."
<< Seros twitched his jaw and rose an eyebrow at that last remark. He had just taken a serious dive from the common world, into a realm that had little to no resemblance of anything he knew....or did he know of it?His hand returned to his creased brow, his thoughts and interpretations fumbling all over each other. >>
*Again, the girl caught on, raising her dainty hand toward him.* "..It's okay. Slow down. One thought at a time. After all..right now, time hardly exists for you." *her pursed smile pressed her plush cheeks up to her cheerful eyes.*
<< ...But- >>
***"Don't try to understand.." *That time, it was almost like a command. Nothing belligerent or malicious, but she spoke imperatively.* "..but it's only been about two and a half literal seconds of you passing out in that medbay."
<< And thusly, Seros began accepting his present circumstance, however odd it may have seemed to him. >>
*The girl gestured with a nod.* "Speak.."
<< Seros' hand returned to his hip, where it felt most at home when he found himself in the presence of children. He finally broke his..'silence,' as it were. >> "..Uhm, sorry." << he gestured an open palm, returning his other hand to his other hip, looking once again over his back to the beach and two glowing orbs. >> "..Not exactly what I'm used to..."
***"..But aren't you? ..This is the place you come to every time you meditate, or reflect, or..delve further into deeper revelation. That's why this place is so familiar. It's a reflection of your physical, mental -- and most importantly -- your spiritual state."
<< Seros looked at her again; not quizzically. >> "..Alright. Can you explain why the Force is interpreted into a small, pubescent Echani nymph?"
*Instead of showing insult, the girl showed amusement, despite the fact that she probably knew everything Seros was thinking, much less going to say.* "Hahahaha! ..Because humans don't interest you, Seros..."
<< ........ >>
***".........." *the Echani raised an eyebrow while the hint of a smirk remained unchanged.*
<< ......... >>
<< The amount of expressions displayed on Seros' face contradicted his completely stoic nature back up on the surface realm. He went from amused, to perplexed, to pensive....to Jawa-in-the-headlights, then averting his eyes off to the side as one of his deepest feelings had been brought to light. One that he never even knew he had been holding.
Busted. >>
*The girl continued.* "You're alone not just because of your past, Seros. ..You're ashamed of your race, and the elitist mindset they have towards other species. Human supremacy, racism, and exclusivity have touched you in a way that most other humans don't even know is possible to feel. That's why you chose to study other species' biology and anatomy. To help "reverse" damage 'done by humans.' And you only said it's for knowledge on how to incapacitate them in a fight..because 'that's what you humans do!' " *she jested a clenched fist tossed in the air at her last remark.*
<< Seros looked down to the glowing sands beneath his boots, putting his tongue in cheek. Well, she pinned him down on that regard. There wasn't anything this - well, the Force - couldn't tell him about himself. But that still left one more aspect untouched. He glanced up at her from his downcast posture. >> "..And the fact the Force is interpreted to me as a-"
***" 'Small, pubescent Echani nymph?' " *She jested again, then adopting an almost pity-bearing, motherly charm, letting her head fall to the side and her voice trail out on a sigh of contempt.* "Because us 'little girls' are way outside the bounds of authority, which you don't seem to appreciate much either, Seros. This form is the easiest way to not just 'lower' your defenses. But to bypass them entirely. To show you that you are completely out of control. Not of 'the system,' as you would call it..but of yourself."
<< Seros couldn't believe this, yet he had to. In a slightly frustrated tone, he shot back, >> "..Well..then what does 'The Force' want with me?"
*'The Force' shook her head.* "There you go, Seros. Playing the victim of your own detriment instead of waging war against it. The question you should be asking is what do you want from the Force?"
<< Seros spurred about on his heel in the sand, taking a few steps back towards the receding tide, his eyes locking with the gorgeous orbs of energy above the sea. He didn't want to think about it, quite honestly. Always made him feel insufficient and weak. Incomplete. The idea of hiding from his own iniquity? What kind of man was he? Such a vicious circle...but at least those circles of pure energy and life offered something that he could--
..Wait a minute. >>
*'The Force' approached his side now, exchanging glances between Seros' locked gaze and the flaring white spheres.* "..You know what that is."
<< Well, sure he did..now. It was how he perceived the Force, in its raw, purest nature. Swirling, coalescing, flowing and ebbing, ever increasing, ever dominating presence. Although, this was his subconscious perception. The other smaller orbiting orb eluded him. >>
*'The Force' explained it to him.* "The larger orb is what you use to associate the greater 'mind' behind the Force, while the smaller orb is the means in which it accomplishes it. ..Watch closely."
<< And Seros watched. As 'The Force' claimed, time had little affect here. The smaller sphere of swirling energy moved farther away from the larger one. And a bit farther. ..And a bit farther. And even farther after that, progressively making its way over to the left horizon. And then Seros the realization, as well as the revelation, struck Seros.
The smaller orb wasn't orbiting around the larger one. It was orbiting around the 'planet' or space that Seros was on, affecting HIS world all along. And thusly... >>
*Adopting her affirming smile 'The Force' put into words what Seros was feeling.* "And here's where things get better." *she looked up at him like a mother would look down proudly on her son.* "..You love to learn, ever since you were a child." *she looked back at the larger sphere again.* "You simply cannot stop, can you?"
<< ..No words. There was hardly a need for them. His glossy eyes returned to gaze upon the Force Star. Every beam of light seemed to tell its own story somehow. The aura gave it unimaginable depth, and the diameter seemed that much larger now that the smaller orb had been revealed to revolve around his 'planet.' How much more VAST was the Force?! The comparison of ratio had increased exponentially, and Seros became lost merely in the idea that what he was even experiencing and perceiving was, more than likely, nothing close to the grand scope of truth that was The Force. >>
*'The Force' interjected once again.* "There are things you have right, Seros. You may never fully understand 'Me,' but as long as you keep gazing on that which you know to be true, and right.." *she placed her hand gently on his arm, still resting bent over his hip.* "..you will be made whole again."
<< With her warm touch, Seros snapped back to...well, you know..
...Was that a tear falling down his cheek? >> "..Ugh!" << he wiped the tear off with a wrist covered in the wrap of his dead brother's Sith garments. And even that struck a symbolic note with him, in a way. >>
*'The Force' chided him after that, patting him on the back.* "Alright, tough guy. Enough's enough. Don't want you getting all over-analytical on Me now!" *She pried his right hand off his hip, taking his hand in her own, and started down towards the now increasing tide.* "Time for you to head back."
<< Being taken by force (...okay, seriously, no pun intended. lawl) from his place on the beach towards the ice-laden waters, he felt it only the least bit sensible to protest. >> "He-hey-hey hey! That water looks catastrophically cold, love! What you thinkin'?"
*Cocking her head back, rolling her eyes, 'The Force' turned haphazardly to Seros, displaying something akin to annoyance on her face.* "..Okay. You remember that this place looks how you perceive your reality, right?"
<< Seros looked to the odd towers of ice protruding from the sea, near and far. Their formation shouldn't be possible by natural occurance, but Seros didn't get it this time. Perplexity plagued his resolve as he shook his head. >> "..Okay?"
*'The Force' grinned ear to ear as she now pulled Seros into those last few steps toward the incoming water of the tide at their feet.* "Well, your life appears 'lonely' and 'cold' to even yourself..but in reality..." *the water finally rushed over their feet, ankles, and shins, seeping into Seros' garments...like a warm, humid bath in a day spa. 'The Force' spoke her last 'verbal' words to him as they proceeded neck level out from shore.* "..you're quite a warm and sensitive individual, Doctor Darklighter." *she maintained her smile as they both ducked under the surface.*
<< It shouldn't be possible, but Seros threw that to the wind. The infinite distance in the dark waters of night would have been foreboding to anyone else, but the massive Force sphere in the sky illuminated particles floating about the sea, making them glisten and sparkle as the refracted beams of light danced under the ocean's surface. And the sphere itself looked spectacular even from under the surface. 'The Force' led him a ways away from shore, the more they swam, the more the fatigue and pain seemed to dissipate on his physical body. Quite therapeutic, really. >>
*Once they reached a point out at sea, where no land was visible, only stars and the Force Star..'The Force' turned to him to speak..except now, she was a full grown woman. A very , her hair fraying and floating gracefully about her trim features. A woman that would never leave his mind or memory...or his heart.
She swam right up to him, face to face, nose to nose, her eyes sultry, passionate, and piercing straight to his soul. That same inaudible voice he heard from his initial dive into the 'Realm.'* "..I'll be with you. Always."
<< Seros' eyes got wide, and his heart felt like it doubled in size, about ready to burst out of his chest. Before he could react, he was pulled towards her by the lapel of his garment, and his lips met with hers... >>